Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Anthropological Studies. Bizarre sexual behaviour of people

Many thanks to XXXX for sending me an amused link to the following. Let me see if I can shorten this little quirky quirk for y'all.
Girl goes on dating site, chit-chats with dude from dating site for number of weeks, girl meets dude, dude and girl don't hit it off, girl comes home, gets tipsy, dude calls, she goes to his gaff, drinks more, has sex, is sent home in cab and is angry because dude does not issue second date, complains on dating site that dude is jerk. ( personal responsibility, what on earth could that be)

"When the meal ended he only offered to pay for his half, and then bails. Doesn't offer me a ride or anything. What did I do wrong? It was so depressing since I really liked him online.

Naturally, I go home and drink almost a full bottle of wine when I get a text message from him. He asks if I want to come over his place and hang out, maybe watch a movie. I thought "This is great, he's going to make it up to me and maybe he was just nervous before". Well I get there and drink some more with him, and next thing you know we're having sex. At the end of the night he calls me a cab and I go home, THINKING that this is just the first of many dates."


What the holy mother of marmalade? It gets better, Dude then offers his 'side' of the date and subsequent belly slapping here.


But this comment by said 'dude' nearly made me spit up my granola.

Okay, so I'll give a little input on my side. I'm going to have to end up deleting this page anyway. Before we met I asked why she had no full body pics. She said it was because she takes all her pics and can't get her whole frame that way, but said she was average sized. I took that to be maybe 140, 150 at the most. Not ideally healthy, but she seemed pretty cool and I gave her props for messaging me. But when we met for our date, this girl was very VERY large and that is not something I am comfortable with. I reacted by acting a little rude because I felt deceived and it was unexpected.

One detail you forgot in your drunken stupor is that you texted me first, and asked to get together. I was in the mood and watching a lot of porn so I agreed. And I never invited you to any concert, I just told you about the concert. I never responded because I thought the best way to get rid of you was by ignoring you in hopes that you'll get the hint. Get it? Peace.



I'm still laughing at 'peace'.

It then gets even weirder when it turns out the lady in question had been on the site using and passing off photos of another girl as herself, then claiming she loves some chap she has never actually met.
I mean. It's like an interwebular episode of Knots Landing. I never even KNEW this kind of entertainment existed. Oh I'll never get a lick of work done today.
I think the moral of the story is don't go have sex with people who don't seem even remotely interested in you and then complain about it later.

Labels:

52 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Yes to all of that, and not limited to Americay.

10:45 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just read through all the comments on the thread - priceless.

11:02 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh definitely not Conan, not by a long shot.
Aye Sheepie, it's too funny. I don't know whihc is funnier, her outrage at the lack of smypathy or how his delightfully full on unapologetic douchiness.

11:04 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She sounds like a right nutter.

But anyone who ends sentences with "peace." deserves 50 lashes and a week in the stocks.

Or to be Gerry Ryans sex slave for a week.

Actually no-one deserves that.

11:46 a.m.  
Blogger Victoria Macarthur said...

Ouuu, scandalous *goes off to read whole thread*

11:51 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, I know people like that....give me strength to cope with their "why didn't he call, why, why, why" bullshit. You met him in a bar when you were already in the state where you could only see properly by closing one eye, you went back to his "gaff" had some really drunken sex that you can't remember, and now are wondering why this lad who you didn't even have a conversation with, hasn't called.
I don't get it. I really really don't.
The girl in this instance sounds mildly crazy in the first place, putting up fake photos and then wondering why someone might be pissed off. Hmm. The mind boggles!

12:00 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh I am working my way through the original thingamy on OkCupid.com, I recommend reading it, cause it's enlightening to say the least!

12:25 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Ooohhh...I'll have to get all my work done early and spend an afternoon catching up on this, guilt free. You gots to have goals.

12:38 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I have been reading it, it's car crash interwebbing, I cannot look away. I really liked, 'next thing you know we're having sex..'like sex was hiding behind the door and jumped out and totally surprised her into dropping her knickers.

1:57 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

"And suddenly all my clothes fell off..." Kenny Everett as Cupid Stunt

2:03 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

HAW! I loved him. Nice one Kim.

2:09 p.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

must... not... click... on... the... link...

2:20 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Conan, you must, it's free entertainment of the highest order.

2:26 p.m.  
Blogger Pat said...

It's a whole different world. Are dating sites a good idea?

2:43 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

On the basis of what I've been reading I woudl say nu-huh. I know a chap who's gone speed dating a few times and he says it is like being in a cattle market. But yet he HAS gone a FEW times.

2:48 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is great stuff. They seem like they are actually made for each other. They will be on the cover of something soon I am sure. (also for a good laugh read the craiglists personals)

3:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

When you say on the cover, you don't by any chance mean on of those 'True Crime' magazines do you?
Craig's List? What is this plz?

3:26 p.m.  
Blogger James McInerney said...

This is the Irish Craisglist site: http://dublin.craigslist.org/
Ostensibly, it is for selling stuff and for personals also, however, it is used mainly by tourists that want to meet locals for friendship for a week *wink* *wink*.

Prime example: http://dublin.craigslist.org/w4m/989905721.html

3:59 p.m.  
Blogger James McInerney said...

Damn you FMC. Now I've gone on to reading craigslist. It is the funniest. My favourite:

"The man I love will never doubt the depth of my feelings. And the man I love will cherish me to the ends of the earth, as I will him."

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

4:01 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Squeeeee, this stuff is gold! Oh Docky, will we ever work again?*



* Needs no such distractions to skive with aplomb

4:12 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Dr J, you might like this then....

4:58 p.m.  
Blogger Megan McGurk said...

The woman just seems lonely/needy/desperate while the dude sounds like a total asshole.

If she was really so gross to him and unattractive, then why did he have sex with her?

There's nothing worse than a hate-fucker. What else was she but a cum dumpster?

5:31 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He is indeed a douche of the highest order, bt I can't feel too sorry for her either, no one made her go to his house and have sex. It's not like he wasn't quite the douche at lunch-according to herself.
If it looks like a douche, walks like a douche and quacks like a douche, don't sleep with it.*


*See Jeremy Piven

5:38 p.m.  
Blogger James McInerney said...

Ha ha, Twenty. "I can tell you are outgoing and uninhibited by social norms and I find that very sexy."

The bloke picked up a can of pepsi from the ground and started to drink from it.

Oh, god. I can't stop laughing. Please make it stop. Oh God. Oh God.

6:01 p.m.  
Blogger laughykate said...

You people are a bunch of bloody time wasters! I have a whole bunch of work to do which isn't now being done because I can't stop myself from reading those bloody links....

.....it's a whole new world......

10:16 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Deepest 'pologies, LK! In my defense I didn't know it was like quick sand of the mind until it was too late.

10:34 p.m.  
Blogger Student said...

Superb! I have little sympathy for either of them. He behaved fairly badly but she gave the the opportunity.

I loved the bit where she went home got drunk then (whoever texted first) ended up at his having sex. Pure gold.

Obvious booty call.

3:52 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Of course it was, pair of idiots deserve each other.

10:46 a.m.  
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